And all the work that’s being done is through the thrifty findings of marketplace.
So although great , also a head spin.
My back and neck are in bits because the the relentlessness of mundane tasks and feelings of uncertainty on what’s happening is unreal.
However I will share the amazing findings once we are complete .
The one thing that is finished is the hallway with the children’s measurements restored on the door frame .I made sure I kept a record of these and I want them forever . So this is the most “normal” I have atm.
I’ve had a headache all week with the disruption and my living room is wall to wall in kitchen cupboards and boxed up food - I’m so far living off bagels!
And although I am soooooo grateful for this. Bypassing the middle bit which is really unsettling wouldn’t make me a human being.
The lack of computing where anything is or where it will live has made me have multiple crying episodes .
I need to do something to make it feel recognisable so my brain can stop glitching.
The kids have been fab.
But me , I’ve needed a lot of hugs because although I am excited and proud of what we are achieving we’ve have had soo many difficulties too getting this far.
I am very aware that in our culture I will be seen as overreacting and dramatic , that I’m being ungrateful. non of what I am experiencing is a lack of gratitude.
I’m beyond grateful, but shunning real feelings and emotions is toxic.
I have felt out of control and really dizzy .
I have felt lost and confused.
I have felt uncomfortable and frustrated.
Why is it such a threat to express that or own that these are feeligns that are happening?
It’s not! I am a human and I am unsettled and I am not going to give a tiny rats ass about sharing it
But that’s aside I am getting a huge dopamine boost with excitement to show you what we have achieved all though marketplace when we have finished.
So stay tuned peeps
Em x